Our Mansion

I would never burn my secret poems for the sake of being artistic.

What’s the use of destroying something artfully?

What’s the use of something no one can know?

You used to open small windows,

To emit fractional bits of dust and air, I assumed

I would sneak in while you were out to supper and rifle through your drawers,

And pick your suit pockets.

We’d gather around a candled table with cultured people and zone out during our prayers;

It’s strange how I’m always alone when I’m with you.

Love isn’t written in the dark, love isn’t written in virtual ink spills

Love isn’t written on your face but I look at it anyway,

And I think that says a lot.

I think I say a lot, I think I’ve said so much I’ve nearly forgotten it all,

I say less than I think, I think

Of the broken windows that were shoveled into spectacles, I think I see you there

I go through your things as you rifle the neighbors, I shuffle the chiffon curtains and they shove into lines, there

There my love, you’ve learned nothing is divine.

You’ve learned so much from the chalkboard at school

I erased you a few months ago but the children kept saying your name under their breath, through their necks

The ice cream man sang you through his window. the canaries stared you through their cages.

I couldn’t stand the fine hum.

The neighbors began to sing, or whistle, I shot

Down the stairs and the dinner guest was drinking vodka into its lullaby,

Singing an old war song, sawing away at memories

My mother played the violin early in life, my sister is waiting to be seen,

Truthfully I never thought I’d make it past sixteen.

The neighbors moved three years ago, that’s right

I decided the curtains were neat and ugly

You have new pens in your pockets and new ties to match

It’s a different fall, I’m a different you, somehow, love, don’t you see-

Everything has changed.

(But that doesn’t change anything)

Chair

We are sitting in a Chinese restaurant. We ordered at the counter and then we sat here.
I have nothing to say but I start talking anyway. I start
Asking what you’ve done since I saw you last.
We tell each other what we’ve done since we saw each other
Last.
Obsession is too Roman for us, Vanity is too Hollywood
We can look into each other’s eyes whenever we like.
Face to face I can’t appreciate because
I only miss when I’m alone.
Do you understand what a beautiful creature I am do you love me enough to keep it a secret to leak it
Onto the floor and say you don’t know how the fire began and trust that I will understand
Well that’s the way I’d like it done
closed door lit by setting sun, anyone can respect the well kept
And giving just enough is an art, when taming an animal it is important to withhold some reward;
It will hate you and worship you mildly.
It won’t steal it; no one will steal what they can earn from someone they relate to
This way, the day the sun rises on the opposite side of the Earth you are bathed in the dawn of creation
And who can appreciate waking as equals more
Than lonely master and carnivore

Healer

I feel it in my throat and nose; a dry hate
In my coughs and sniffles and spit into a bowl of oranges, your tangerines have no place in my sky
Your lense was always too innocent; you have the lashes of a child
Staring at me, confused, as I administer the tests and the shots
I’ve never liked kids.
I think I hate you, when you smile I choke, when you kiss I cry
You breath I retch, I hate everyone you touch, so much, so much
You were shaking when you told me you would do anything for me and
I was held in that moment by your eyes, almost angry
Taken back to the moment of vaccination
I’m still trying to get a reaction.
I get tangled in the sidewalks I avoid and I bathe in the light of lampposts in other towns
I have affairs with my parasites;
It’s a different kind of whoring than yours.
You’ve kissed twelve people and I’ve loved two
And no one can see you the way I do.