Hi, my name is ______________________ and I try to be as nice as possible to everybody. Sometimes I succeed and most of the time I do not but I'm guessing it's the effort that counts so I'm not too worried about my soul. I hold back a lot and half the time- well, more than half - I am not at all myself. Being myself is a rather high set bar, as I have no idea who I actually am. Sometimes I try to be witty and end up offending various people, mostly guys, who don't seem to take well to that sort of thing. Usually they say mean things to me and then I insult them more and curse at them in my head and vent through poetry and then I cry because I was always taught that if you're nice to everyone and you're smart and independent then the world would be in the palm of your hand but it's really not like that at all. You can tell that I really like a movie if I'm eating my popcorn at lightning speed. Yesterday an 96 year old man read me an Emily Dickinson poem and then gave me amazing advice on life. When I tried to reply he couldn't hear me. I do really like my life a lot in general but I really feel like there's something missing. And I am not a flirt and I don't want to be.
Thank you for your time
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Disfigurement
They figured out that if you put the lamp too close to the ceiling,
the house could burn.
And the soap-shiny skin in the sink is feeling like maybe it will nver be clean
because secrets can't be fought by chemistry
Or anything, really.
The only way you can get rid of a secret is by telling it
The soap won't help.
They figured out that if you make the supports better, you can have bigger windows.
Let in more light. Talk to the birds. Smell the air. Watch the rain. See the rain when there is no rain. Hear the thunder. By this time the windows have gotten quite large..
They can see more of the world, and if they don't like it, they can jump
If the lamp does cause the fire, they have an option.
"If we waited 90 days I could get it to happen, definitely."
Fake. You disgust me.
I just want another Arabian subcontinent conversation.
Parachutes couldn't save me then and I didn't really care.
The ground was far enough away.
What if we're all falling?
We are all falling.
The choices we make increase our speed, or slow us down. Some times they bring the ground closer.
And when we fall faster or fall back we meet other people we wouldn't have otherwise. If you want to find your other half, make every choice.
Of course, you will probably hit the ground sooner, I guess.
But what the hell. To the organized mind, death is just another great adventure.
the house could burn.
And the soap-shiny skin in the sink is feeling like maybe it will nver be clean
because secrets can't be fought by chemistry
Or anything, really.
The only way you can get rid of a secret is by telling it
The soap won't help.
They figured out that if you make the supports better, you can have bigger windows.
Let in more light. Talk to the birds. Smell the air. Watch the rain. See the rain when there is no rain. Hear the thunder. By this time the windows have gotten quite large..
They can see more of the world, and if they don't like it, they can jump
If the lamp does cause the fire, they have an option.
"If we waited 90 days I could get it to happen, definitely."
Fake. You disgust me.
I just want another Arabian subcontinent conversation.
Parachutes couldn't save me then and I didn't really care.
The ground was far enough away.
What if we're all falling?
We are all falling.
The choices we make increase our speed, or slow us down. Some times they bring the ground closer.
And when we fall faster or fall back we meet other people we wouldn't have otherwise. If you want to find your other half, make every choice.
Of course, you will probably hit the ground sooner, I guess.
But what the hell. To the organized mind, death is just another great adventure.
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