Intermission

These days,
I can feel the sand in the hourglass slipping away
Weighing down my wings and choking what I wanted to say
Meeting your eyes brings back memories I cannot face
You are a reminder of every chance I didn't take.

I can't even give myself a reason I'm not walking away
Partially healing and then scraping the scabs away
Make-believing my heart is broken, manufacturing pain
Take all your tears and save them for the matinee

But you are a reminder of each blown out candle and
You are a reminder of each worn out melody
You are a reminder of washed-away words and
How even now my bones seem so fragile and weak.

I can't even give myself a reason I'm not walking away
Partially healing and then scraping the scabs away
Make-believing my heart is broken manufacturing pain
Take al your tears and save them for the matinee

Here's for Hoping

Look at that girl, now a couple months pass
And she only ever wanted something to last
Oh, I'm turning my back,
I want you and I want you to want me back.
Look at that boy he's so afraid,
Pushing anyone who takes a step in away,
Beautiful bird, locks himself in a cage.
So here's for hoping he don't go and want her back
Cause she's already five feet six inches down the track.

But this is the first time that I've ever felt so alive,
Cut the string I've been holding onto for dear life,
I will fly away from what's better left behind,
And I won't apologize

Here's for hoping
Here's for letting it show
Here's for giving in and
Never letting anyone know

Truth be told I only want what I know I cannot have
So here's for hoping you don't turn around and want me back
Disappointment runs in our veins but I will not bleed myself dry
Let yourself forget that I ever meant more to you than meets the eye

But I will send a whisper your way on the wind
Here's for hoping you finally let someone in,
This is my surrender I'm letting you win,
Drink the poison and never go thirsty again.

Here's for hoping,
Here's for letting it show,
Here's for giving in and
Never letting anyone know,
I want you and I want to want me back,
Yeah.

Misgiving

rainy faucet
walk right by,
the yellow-lit room,
and the sink.
This machine is broken,
the tightly sealed fissures
splitting like scabs,
the toothpick appendages
wobbling like the
cheap manufacturing plant they were concieved in.
Between the places of open,
and closed,
squeezed inside of the almost,
I am squeaking,
I am leaking.

Small Brown Door

Swallow hard, swallow to get it all out
On the table, below your feet,
You are swimming so why not let the air in on a secret,
A tantalizing corner ripped from the connection between your eyes and your mouth,
and a fleshy shard, a human.
I can be quiet, most of all when I’m thinking,
About things that are sometimes yellow and sometimes white,
And how they overlap when you tug and send you spinning,
If only someone would open this door.
Small brown door, today, meet me where we used to play,
The quiet places between the blades of grass, the spot of shadow on the asphalt.
People I have thrown away, meet me on a higher plane,
The back of a car, the front of a house, an old yellow chair in the basement,
These are the places that I have been afraid.
But any time I try to seem like much of anything I end up collapsed on my bed, drowning my thoughts out,
Scraping wallpaper and washing bathtubs, tomorrow I will walk
Backwards against the wind, the breeze heavy with reminders, my eyes closed and my hands folded and my buttons tight,
Because I need the air, but oh, god, I don’t want to have to feel it.