Dead Silence

Once I found a thread made of pure silver joy.
I followed it.
It led through some grassy fields and into the air and I followed it all the way up to the place where the sky stays blue all through the night
I am not going to say what went down up there.
All I know is that in time my sharp pain cut through the thread and sent me freefalling back to the ground.
If I remember correctly, I landed in the middle of a highway.
And they expected me to walk home and eat dinner with my family and take a shower and get some sleep because I looked like I needed it.

Gust

As soon as that....
melody hit my ears it was like I was standing right there again on the concrete in the wind and everyone was walking I could see my shoes in the dark of the door they glowed silver just like the moon slivers in your irises I took one last step and then I crumbled to the ground except everyone else was, too so it didn't look like it meant anything but it did because I would've even if they didn't I can hardly keep the traces of the Atlantic from my eyes as I recall the darkness and the sweetness and the foreshadowing looming over my head but I just thought it was a heavy storm cloud set to let loose on saturday morning, but the next day no rain fell.

If I ever get Alzheimer's I'm screwed cuz I'm addicted to remembering.
//

Annual

Sometimes I wish I was a mouse living inside the walls of a house and everything was insulation and foil and sawdust.
And maybe if I was I wouldn't feel all the layers of the atmosphere pressing down on me as much as I do; like everything is just a candle that someone is desperately trying to blow out.
If I meet your eye know that I am afraid and that I am unsure.

If you are thinking
What I am thinking then you are a very
vain
person
But every mountain only goes so high.
If I could mail you a calendar I'd place the peak at the beginning of April and I would watch you climb.

Feathers

I play the computer keyboard like a piano and I pound out my feelings either way
I leave it all on stage or in my lap but when I stand up it falls so I don't have to worry about brushing it off.
Tears run down your face and thoughts run through your mind
we run and we run but we're always behind
The having's got to do with the getting and forgetting
my backpack in the other room but it leads me to a truth so raw I can't compute the letters it takes to overtake myself I help,
I need,
I want
to
be
freed

Words of Wisdom from a five-year old

If I were a puzzle, I would scream when people took me apart.

...

I wish when I opened up my heart, my secrets, I could pour them into an opaque, air-tight container and keep them all for myself. I wish when I opened up my heart I could file my feelings and place them in a box. Tape, stamp, address, I'd mail them off to a faraway place (but I'd always make sure I could find them again). I wish when I opened up my heart the beating turned on default mute and the blush on my cheeks stopped below my skin. I wish when I opened up my heart I could stop the loud music.
But instead, when I open up my heart, my secrets flow from it; liquid, silver, tantalizing. My feelings shout and make themsleves known. They find their way into my eyes, my lips, the way my nose crinkles, but there's nothing I can do my feelings are not shy. When I open up my heart music flows from the core the beat in the background steady and quick.
When I open up my heart things happen faster than I can keep track of and every second's another memory. My heart does not hide from anything no matter what chains hold me back my heart will always be free.

(Can anyone tell me if this feeling ever goes away?)

(It's okay)
to be humble
(and also)
to stumble
(to swoon as you read)
and cry as you need
That one
you lost
so long long ago
(And yet it seems like yesterday when he said)
I would love to skydive
(and)
He spilled his juice
(and)
Smile and tears and
(He stared at you a bit longer than usual when you got your braces off, you know it was not just your imagination)
And it was yesterday and the beginning when
(he smiled in that way that communicated something along the lines of i know i am gorgeous and i think you are worthy of my gorgeous and ridiculously arrogant smile)
And
The candles were
(blown out)
And
(you didn't even know he was standing there)
always
(watching)
(I remember what you wore on September 19th.)
(you know, the day on my calendar with a sad face in the corner*bitterly*)

(khaki pants)

(orange and red striped shirt)

(Blue polyester hoodie)

shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit
whywhywhywhwywhywhywhwywhywhwywhywhwywhy

Attic Doll

Fast forward the song at the link below to about 1:00 and then read on.:)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fPT8ojGU10&feature=related


This room has been empty for

Quite a long time

Dusty glass corners and

Musicbox chime

Broken old golden things

Glitter and shine

Drenched in the air lies

A memory of mine.

If Looks Could Kill

Acting like we're one big happy family only works when it's true
But glares across the room
Glances and smirks
Eye rolls
Will you show me how it really is?

Undertow

The year passed slow
We watched a flower
Grow then die and wither.
Fence; slowly opens wide but
they walk right past because they know better now.
But that little girl-
she doesn't. And they don't warn her because,
well, nobody warned them.
In another, cleaner, meaner town
Headphones get popped in and
lawns get mowed and
shoes get wiped and
somewhere, a bomb goes off
in someone's mind and they think
Enough.
And that is the beginning of
The End